about me, in my opinion, love and relationships, this is life

Dealing with Bullies and Gossips

When I was in grade school I became friends with a batch bully and I learned the best things about the trade from her. I’m not proud of those days, but as you grow up you get to a point when you realize it’s better to have the upper hand than to be the one being oppressed. Although, you should know that bullies always pick on people who have no means to fight, and I had a few experiences with that (but I would rather forget it). I think what I’m trying to say is that it is different to be a bully and to know how to defend yourself. When I was wiser (as I became older), I told my little sisters to be strong against bullies. There are different types of bullies in this world and I’ve encountered many versions of it, but I’ve never really allowed myself to be a victim. Cmon, I grew up as a military brat.


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So I guess you can say that I was able to defend myself from bullies. I fight when necessary because growing up my mom always expressed the importance of assertion (and standing up for ourselves). Basically I was trained for that, but GOSSIPS were a different thing altogether.
Surviving Gossip Girls (and Guys)
Yes I said, girls and guys because what I’ve discovered is that everyone like to gossip, even guys. It’s not really a girl thing. I think it’s human nature to be curious and to want to talk about other people, but it’s a different story altogether when you’re the one being talked about. It’s not easy to be the subject of gossip. It can break you. It can eat you up. It can ruin your life. But you shouldn’t let it conquer you.
  • You cannot control what other people will do. I’ve learned that in life. You can fight people all you want, but ultimately, they will do what they want to do. Since you cannot control what other people will do–which means they will gossip about you regardless of the obvious struggle you are going through, there is just nothing you can do about it. What you can control is how you react to their actions. You can go ballistic. You can calmly shrug it off. You can let it devour you. Do not hate the people who gossip about you because it’s not their fault. These things happen.
  • Chances are it’s your own fault. I am not saying you’ve brought it upon yourself, but you know what I mean. If your life is juicy and interesting, you can expect to be under the spotlight. If you’ve made a wrong decision in life, expect people to have an opinion about it. If you do not want to be talked about, HIDE because if you are prominent even in a minute scale, you will get in people’s radar. Of course no one should be a victim of gossiping, no matter who you are, but I am saying it is sometimes a territorial/conditional thing.
  • Don’t take it seriously. No matter what you hear, no matter how bad it makes you feel, do not take it seriously. Try not to let it ruin you and if you can disregard it, do so. Whether the news is true or false, do not let it get to you. Once upon a time I cared so much about what people think or say about me, until I realized I’ve been wasting too much effort trying to shield myself from the “bullets”. Eventually I gained a stronger stance against things and said, “Let them talk!” I just go on with my life because truthfully, there are more important things than this.
  • This too shall pass. Always remember this because it should bring you comfort. No matter how grave your situation is right now, it will be over. After some time people will get tired talking about you, since they will find other people to talk about. Hehe. That’s the truth. Things will be better and you will get through this, so like the rampage of waves on the shore, you just have to let it fall because it will eventually pull away and go back to the sea.
It is never easy to deal with bullies and gossips, but when you are forced in this situation you just have to be strong. You have be strong enough to stand your ground against bullies, no matter who they are; and you have to be strong enough to survive through the negative talk about you.
And if you need help, just holler…
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