about me, my travels, this is my family

Travelling with My Sestras

I wasn’t supposed to come on this trip. It was initially a trip planned by two of my sisters, but when the other one decided to come along, my mom thought it best that I did too. My last visit to America was in 2004 and I was still in College then, so it was due time. The only problem was I hadn’t renewed my visa yet. But when I had a successful run at the embassy and was blessed with a 10-year multiple entry, it was clear: “I am kasama” (I am going).

Continue reading “Travelling with My Sestras”

Advertisements
about me, love and relationships, this is life, this is my family

Another Christmas Without Papa

I missed Papa the most yesterday. I don’t always think of him, I confess. I think I’ve compartmentalized a big chunk of that reality to cope… so most of the time I forget about him and then surges of memories come at different times of the day, especially when I’m driving or when I pass by his office. When this happens I feel a deep hurt in my chest and I cannot breathe. Then I remember he’s gone and I’ll feel tears run down my cheeks, and I’ll wipe it right away. Sometimes I even find myself shaking my head, like when you’re trying to get rid of a bad thought. I don’t like being sad. I know my being sad won’t really bring my Papa back, so I don’t want to remember him that way.

received_10154247803435677_wm

Continue reading “Another Christmas Without Papa”

in my opinion, love and relationships, this is life, this is my family

Let’s Talk About Death and Taxes

“In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except Death and Taxes”

-Benjamin Franklin 

death and taxes 2.jpg

Early last year, a friend’s mom passed away. A few months after, I attended another funeral and not long after that, a friend’s dad fell seriously ill. It left me distraught. I talked to my mom about it and she said, “It’s the circle of life. You are born, you live, and you die. And for people my age, we are slowly coming to our end”. She is right of course. Ben Franklin was right too. Everyone eventually meets their end (although some earlier than expected) we all go through the same story, albeit with differing twists and turns. You’re born, you live, you die.

Continue reading “Let’s Talk About Death and Taxes”

about me, love and relationships, this is life, this is my family

Will I Ever Get Used to It?

During Papa’s wake I had a momentary lapse while I was talking to one of my girl friends:

Friend: I think your dad knew my husband’s dad, he was a military doctor. I think they were assigned here in Villamor around the same time.

Crix: Maybe. Maybe they were here together and knew each other. What’s his name?
Friend: Dr. ________________
Crix: Ahhhh, okay I got it.

And within seconds I slapped her hard on the shoulder. I slapped her so hard because after she gave me the name, I made a mental note to ask my Papa, and then realized that I couldn’t do that anymore. Papa is gone so he could never answer my question. For a moment there, I immediately jumped to a familiar practice and forgot that he is gone. Papa is gone… and there is no remedy to that.

 when will i get used to it.jpg

Continue reading “Will I Ever Get Used to It?”